I Don’t Expect Everything To Be Handed To Me-Just Set It Down Wherever
I Don’t Have A Problem With Caffeine-I have A Problem Without It
I Dream Of A World Where Chickens Can Cross The Road Without Having Their Motives Questioned
I Drink Coffee Because I need It, And Wine Because I Deserve It
I know What Men Want-I Just Don’t Think They Deserve It
I Like Big Mutts – And I Cannot Lie
I Like Holding the Door For People Who Are Far Away So they Have To Run A Little
I Refuse To Become A Nugget
I Wasn’t Insulting Your Intelligence-I Was Insulting Your Stupidity
I Wasn’t Speeding-I Was Qualifying
I’m Not Really A Bitch-I Just Play One In Your Life
I’m Sorry I Called You An Asshole…..