If Assholes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport
If At 1st You Don’t Succeed-Do It The Way Your Wife Told You
If At First You Don’t Succeed, It’s Probably Not Twist-Off
If I Agreed With You-We’d Both Be Wrong
If I Can’t Fix It-It Ain’t Broke
If I Had To Pick One Word To Best Describe Myself-I Suppose It Would Have To Be:-Can’t Follow Orders
If it has tits or tires it will cause you trouble
If Life Hands You Melons-You May Be Dyslexic
If My Dog Doesn’t Like You-I Don’t Like You
In Our Family We Don’t Hide Crazy-We Put It On The Porch And Give It A Cocktail
Insanity Is Saying The Same Thing Over And Over Again-And Expecting Your Children To Listen
It’s Hard To Soar With Eagles When You Work With Turkeys